I am currently in a season of letting go. Have you ever been there?
Some things are easy to let go of. It’s easy to let go of things that we didn’t “really” want to do in the first place. Maybe we over committed, and while it’s difficult to feel like we may disappoint someone, we feel relieved when we know we no longer have to do it.
However, some things are extremely difficult to let go of. Sometimes we have to let go of things that we really do enjoy. Maybe it honestly brings us joy, but we don’t need that for the season we’re in.
I am in that season. The season of letting go of so many things that I love as well as some things that I won’t miss all that much.
I had wayyy too many things on my plate. I am learning to let go of most of it. I deleted the Facebook app from my phone so that I won’t get stuck scrolling through things that stress me out. I let go of some things that were how I earned money, meaning that we had to adjust our budget (yet again) in order for our finances to align with our needs during this season.
One big thing? I have let go of my nutrition business. I created this business. I built it. I poured my life into it. I genuinely enjoyed it. But then I didn’t. I began to struggle personally. I love the people that came to me through it. I love that I was able to help so many people through it. I am glad I did it. I am sad that I had to let it go for now…but I am also so glad that I listened and let it go.
I was overwhelmed.
Now my focus is my family. My relationship with Jesus. My husband. My kids. My self. Our homeschool journey. My yoga training.
We lost a friend to a car accident. He was young. He was healthy. It was sudden.
In the days that followed, as we mourned, we decided that we didn’t want to waste our time here doing things that didn’t truly feel like “living”.
Matt is living his dream. He is overjoyed with his job. He looks forward to waking up to go to his job everyday. Are there hard days? He’s a pastor. Read: YES. But the good days make up for the hard days. The church that we work for is amazing. Their heart, their passion, the way they care for the staff…it’s inspiring.
I loved being a nutritional therapist, and essential oils distributor, and nanny, and worship leader, and volunteer, and homeschool teacher, and breastfeeding mentor, and cleaning lady, and yoga teacher trainee, and and and..do you see why I was overwhelmed? One day I wrote down all the things I had “on my plate”. It was way too much. No wonder I felt like I couldn’t do it all. No one could!
So with prayer, and long conversations with Matt..I decided to let go of most of it.
That didn’t feel like living. That felt like busy; and “busy” isn’t “living”. Not for me. I want to have the time to live. I want to play with the kids. I want to learn with the kids rather than give them an assignment and work beside them. Now, I only clean one office. I babysit here and there when I’m needed for a friend.
Most importantly, I get to feel fulfillment leading worship at our church. I get to feel fulfillment teaching and learning beside my kids; finding our passion for learning again. I get to rest. I get to just be. I get to focus on my yoga teacher training. I get to focus on my relationships: with Jesus, my husband, my kids, and my friends.
Letting go is difficult. Letting go is freeing.
If you feel overwhelmed, re evaluate your life. How can you adjust your lifestyle to line up with your passions? I encourage you to try. While some things are hard, it is so worth it.